My paternal grandmother is like 85 and she is different from other people of her generation… quite progressive, I must admit… atleast for her time. Let me give you a few examples: She is cool with girl children choosing her life partner. She, being a Brahmin (an upper caste in India) has many “non-Brahmin” friends who she hangs out with (this is something that may be considered really liberal minded, she admits this to me often). She knows to read and write 3 languages.
She reads the newspapers everyday, keeps herself aware of the political and social happenings of the country and also has an opinion about these issues. She was extremely supportive of my decision of having a court marriage (as opposed to the whole hula of having a typical long and extravagant south Indian wedding). I also find her quite tolerant of many things: for example, being a strict vegetarian, she has found ways to “adjust” to people who eat non-vegetarian. Being a person who has probably seen alcohol only in a spirit lamps, she is tolerant of her son and daughter, drinking alcohol socially and mingling with people who she may not necessarily like.
You might be thinking that I sound crazy to appreciate things which are ideally supposed to be normal. But here is the thing. She is from a generation who married off girls at 12 (she was married at 18), where casteism was practiced regularly, when girls were given no access to education (and yet she managed to study till class 11). So yes, one needs to appreciate she has come a long way from all of that.
However, she does not like the ideas of Marxism/Communism. Her daughter and son-in-law are supporters of communism, and though she does not say much to them, she has (on more than one occasion) ranted to me: These people keep saying communist- communists do good. They keep saying brahmins have done so many bad things. You know we had non-brahmin friends as neighbours. They keep saying brahmins have oppressed other castes… but they proudly sport their names which are brahminical. They have studied so much, all because their fathers and mothers supported them and now they talk like this. And what is the big deal about communism… have you seen China.. they are not doing anything great.
I only listen. I think I know where this is coming from. Her perspective is different and she is coming from a different time. I honestly don’t have the knowledge to comment for or against communism to make a case or break her case. At the end of the day, she is 85, she has seen a lot in this world and she has changed a lot! I know she has adjusted, compromised and made decisions against her will. I do not know if changing her strong opinions matter now… There is a lot I can learn from her. But I just wanted to share this story because here I see an elderly woman in conflict with her own family over political and social opinions … something really rare that I have NOT seen in any other house hold.
Image for representational purpose,
Image Courtesy: Wikimedia Commons/Rkseevagan
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